A different journey from others.. Part 1

My ordinary journey as a mother begun on 7 April of 2011.. I'm raising Eiman everyday with a big help from my family.. Thankful to my mom, Umi whom willingly to sacrifice her weekly class just for Eiman..

He is so fortunate to be surrounded by everyone who loves him so much.. He's everything.. Dia la anak, dia la cucu kesayangan, nephew and even a spoil great grandson to his Nyang.. Because my grandmother stays with us after Atok passed away..

He grew up just like other boys.. What I noticed, his milestone somehow a bit defer and odd from what he supposed to achieve accordingly.. 

2 months old - mengiring
6 months old - lie face downward (meniarap) 
8 months old - climb
10 months old - sit on his own
11 months old - stand up
1 year old - crawl
1 year 6 months - walk

I'm quite worried at first.. because he had a second cousin who was born the same day with him.. but she already meniarap by 3 months old.. but when I told the elders "biasalah budak lelaki memang lambat sikit".. OK fine.. just wait and see.. I told this matter to his Paeds and he advised me to do some baby massage to stimulate his nerves & muscles.. 

I'm so happy when he started to meniarap, but another problem occurred. He can't stop moving whenever he still awake, he almost fell over from his rocker when he tried to escape and move. I thought that he would skip his milestones because he could climb up any hurdle when he was 8 months old. A bit odd when he can sit on his own without crawl up first. 

Many people told me it's a normal case when baby skip to crawl and straight to walk on their own. I just believe that because he could stand up dependently to any sofa or grill at his age 11 months old. Ok, I just wait for the moment that he will walk to me on his own anxiously. 

But after his 1st birthday, the milestones reversed and he started to crawl. Before that, although he could climb, sit, and stand he will shuffle lie downward to move from one place to anther. It's a bit embarrassing when most of his peer age already walk and run, but he still crawling at that time.

But when I read an article says that 'The longer the better for kids to crawl when they are still baby' I'm a bit relief although the other part of my mind whispered "but he already 1 years old".

In terms of communication, verbally he's like other babies, babbling & responding when he's almost 2 months old.. I remembered he started to call my name when he almost 1 year old although he called me "Kak".. sheeshhh, because my family all called me Kakak. Started to call "Ke" for Uncle. 

Once he started to walk, it took only few days for him to master the movement and he ran here and there until everyone being assigned to look after him. I can't tell how active he is at that time and even now he still. 

And how do I discover his real condition and characteristic of Autism.. I shall continue on the next post because this part itself already too lengthy to continue.. 

Eiman - 7 months.. he already had few teeth at this time.. 

Guling-guling sampai masuk bawah kerusi..

Not even crawl yet, he could climb at this height to escape out.. Mushroom hair trademark began..

hahaha! didn't i mentioned before that he can be at anywhere he wanted to be..

That Precious 4 Years..

Assalamualaikum..

My blog being abandoned for 4 years since my last posting on Eiman's birth update..

And within that 4 years.. too many things happened, life changes, joy & tears..

When I read back my last postings, some sort of my work life at my previous workplace Homefield.. whereby I've left Homefield 3 years ago.. how time flies.. now I'm in insurance industry.. Nahhh! From property & development to insurance (takaful to be exact) industry? Even my husband was no longer in automotive line..

There's a story about my BFF Akma, her wedding day.. now she already had a pair of lovely kids.. In a blink of eye, our children all grown up and started their early education this year..

And for the past 4 years.. Despite of numbers of eventful & memorable days.. I've gone through a series of  difficult time.. Especially last year 2014, is the most testing year in my entire life.. to myself, my family and for the nation as well.. Sounds sad & melancholic? Well, those things are the reason of my 'comeback' to this space..

2 main things that I've aimed to write (type) about.. 1st is about my Ummi (mom), whom survived from her treatment of Blood Cancer.. 2nd is about my Autistic son.. Not much on the scientific terms of treatment & definition, but more on what I've gone through.. My experience & what not.. And still, the journey continue today..

Don't get surprise ok, will be back soon InsyaAllah.

Restart & Refresh..

Praise to Allah swt..

I still can update this blog again. I thought that it would be terminated due to inactivate for long period of time.

The last time this blog being updated by me : Aug 2011.. My son was only 4 months time at that time.. And all the ups & down to raise him up took place.. 

4 years passed by.. he is now an active and cheeky little boy.. too many things happened.. joy & tears

I don't feel like to go for blogging anymore, but for some reason, from now on I'm going to restart all over again.. I need a place to keep 'my journey' written and recorded. If it's not meant for sharing (but I wish I could share something beneficial & meaningful), at least I got this way this express my feeling, ideas and thought.  

Will be back soonest!

A New Chapter of My Life

Alhamdulillah.. I'm back for good! yolatu..

Syukur Alhamdulillah.. SubhanaAllah..

I've safely delivered a baby boy on 7th April 2011, 4.15am at DEMC Specialist Hospital Shah Alam. We named him Muhammad Raffiqin Eiman Bin Ezanie. 

So many things to talk about.. he's current development, my labour process, and what's next about him..

My miracle.. I still can't believe that he's my son.. love at the first sight when the Midwife placed him on my tummy..

The new Grandpa (Atok) & Granny (Wan).. my little munchkin! I like the way he expressed himself..  Welcome to the world honey..

Let's go home sayang.. Ready to take the challenge as a new Mommy.. "Mom, I'm all ready for life.." ;-)

His look is totally different now.. See Next!

A Sunshine in a Cloudy Day

Why do I say so.. (the title above)

Yeah this week was started smoothly ( Praise to Allah) and few good things come together.. Despite of gloomy weather these few day.. but I managed my day happily and end up the day with a sleep tight..

My bestie schoolmate & unimate was happily married with her beloved fiancee.. Peggy@Wahida in Turqoise.. =) Congratulations to both!

Date : 27 November 2010 - Sat

Venue : Masjid UNITEN, Bangi

The next day me and my husband attended Antenatal Class@DEMC Specialist Shah Alam and Alhamdulillah we earned such a great experience.. direct lesson from the specialists & experts.. covered so many things; Labour Process, New Born Care, Dieting, Breastfeeding & Exercise.. talking about this class, at the beginning ramai yang ketawa & claimed that its just a waste and we can actually learn through nature.. haha

Yeahh, as an eldest in the family i did have some experience in new born care.. but how about my husband. Siapa yang percaya dia pandai jaga budak? He told me "What if the baby tersedak susu and i dont know what to do? Sounds simple tapi hidup dan mati tau" Make sense, and i saw his deep interest during the lesson.. Teringat his reaction when the Gynae passed the forcep to the audience he refused to hold it.. "Tak sanggup"

Haha, you made my day dear! Seeing his passion, really make me feel so excited to deliver my little miracle.. No matter what facts or myths that i've been heard about, I don't care & i'll go for it! Go Mammy! hehe.. InsyaAllah..



Week of Depression

Yesterday.. Ummi told me.. "Kak, awak jangan tension2, banyakkan sabar time pregnant ni"

How I wish.. But I've to admit that I'm just a very normal ordinary person.. completed with all type of feeling & emos..

Setiap kali lepas solat, selalu berdoa supaya jiwa ni tenang & sabar.. Apa-apa dugaan yang datang boleh handle dengan smiley face ;-) Susahnya..

Orang cakap sarcastic sikit, terus jiwa ni rasa macam nak reply harshly sambil ungkit hal-hal terpendam.. Yelah, from the beginning pun kita dah pendam macam-macam.. I've been tolerate dengan macam2 situation, suddenly cakap macam kita ni tak ada value langsung..

What if, someone that you thought is the best person in your family.. is actually the last person that you can rely on? Too rigid and calculative, although ada satu nyawa yang masih hijau sedang menanggung kesakitan.. Too that extend, hati ni sampai doa biar sakit tu beralih pada this fella.. MasyaAllah.. ampunkan dosaku Ya Allah..

Seeing someone that you really2 loved being 'sabotaged' by her owned family member.. Tak cukup disabotaj.. dipergunakan.. diperlekehkan.. disia-siakan.. And forgive me, I couldn't be nice and treat these fellas like before..

Hopefully it will be the last thing that get me stucked in asshole.. But the other thing is, someone that you already knew that you can't rely on, the reason why you have to work and struggling like a remaining dog in a desert.. is doing nothing other than smashing a glass into your head! 

I knew, itu semua dugaan dari Allah swt.. My mom told me before "Mudah je Allah nak angkat darjat seorang perempuan tu, bagi dia dugaan demi dugaan. Sebab tu kita kena banyak dekat kan diri dengan Allah swt".. Allahu Akbar.. sabarlah wahai hati..

Now 6.09.. solat asar dulu.. semoga Allah berikan petunjuk & hidayah buat hamba yang sungguh lemah ini..

T.I.R.E.D

Yes I am!

Macam mana pun syukur Alhamdulillah sebab Allah swt masih bagi kekuatan lagi setiap kali bangun pagi untuk teruskan kehidupan. Cukup tepat kalau kata bulan November ni eventful & stressful. Recall cerita Ultraman Ace tahun 1992, bila power Ultraman dah habis, lampu merah kat dada pun bliking siap bunyi-bunyi lagi.. =p (apakah?) That's how i feel now..

But It's like a miracle.. I went all over the places accompanied by my little miracle.. =) I could drive alone and stayback untill 7pm.. Kadang-kadang sempat masak, if tak sempat tu alternatif la.. Mungkin itulah kekuatan & semangat yang Allah kirimkan .. Rasa meaningful sangat bila sama-sama mencari rezeki dengan si kecil yang aktif menendang-nendang.. =)

I told my husband.. "I need a break, I really2 need a break.." "Nak pergi mana?" "Tak kisahla.. As long as I can have my freedom & release my tense.." no relpy.. I understand.. Kalau dia dah kerja Sabtu, impossible nak travel mana-mana.. Ahad the only day nak kemas rumah.. sigh!

Being forced to face up to certain things that makes me feel so upset.. Stress lagi, but i hide as if like I'm ok and no heart feeling.. But deep inside, maybe seorang je yang tahu.. Annakku, sebab sekarang dia yang paling dekat dengan hati ni.. Thanks dear, anugerah terbesar & terindah dalam hidup Mamy..

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah jalanku.. bukakan lagi pintu rezeki buat anakku seluas-luasnya.. Amin..